pressing towards hope

She’ll calls me today
little sister
And ask if anything’s new
Just like she always does
And I find comfort in knowing
That she cares
what I’m up to

I think it’d be humble
to throw away everything
into the can He’s holding for trash
And his eyes would be burning
Too pure to look on evil
Blue as the sea—many times through
And I’d beg to cast away my
Very self
Just for a moment to dwell on
His name

In my core
I know those things are harder
done than said
and it’s painful
to follow through

And listening and words
Have become more profound
Than they ever have
And I am much smaller
Than I had first perceived

pride still chokes me

and I hurt
I need You just as much as ever
some days I don’t let on
but I’m crying in my heart
“Don’t give me a stone.
Daddy, please don’t give me a stone.”

peace reigns
it rings shrill and clear
I’m wandering
but my soul You still

and I press on

I need to find You
I need to know You
more than I’ve ever known before
I need to penetrate
the depths of Your Spirit
and probe the mysteries of Your heart

If I don’t, I will rot
rot out
rot straight through

I must know
I must have hope
I must know You