yes, Jesus loves me. No longer a cliche

“You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;
You have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes…”
A month ago, these were the words I longed to hear. I desired for the Lord to use such language to capture my heart; but God doesn’t talk like that; his voice is something like, “I love you”, but not sappy language like the words in Song of Solomon. Yes, I know he loves me; yes, I know he desires to have my heart, but falling romantically in love with the God of the universe? Come on. While an appealing concept, I couldn’t picture myself falling hopelessly in love with a God who is called The Ancient of Days, Father, King of Kings, etc. He sounds old. Falling in love with a God whom I call father? Noo, thank you. Yet, as I prayed that I would fall in love with God, the idea became a challenge. Was this falling in love with God business a true feeling, or just an expressive metaphor that we Christians use to get the point across? I decided to test it out. “Lord, you said ask and you will receive. Lord, take me into the desert and speak tenderly to me. (Hosea 2:14) I want you to captivate my heart. I want to fall in love with you.” I prayed this prayer over, and over, and over again. Each time thinking, “Great, okay I love God, but I’m not sensing the romance. Is this all by faith, or is there feeling involved?” Psalms 130:5, “I wait for the Lord, my soul waits…” I prayed this—and I waited…and waited…and….I waited. Last night, I arrived late to the last of Mr. Rick’s sessions on the Bridal Paradigm, or his six week course on understanding the love of God. Frankly, I was dealing with some flesh issues and didn’t really want to be there. My soul groaned as he laid out the plan for the night—he would wrap up the course, and then we would worship. I did not want to worship, but I listened as he wove the reality of the love of Christ beautifully through his words, prayer, and scripture. I listened intently, then he opened up a time of worship. I surrendered and tried my best to focus on God. As I became more and more lost in praising him, forgetting my flesh, the Lord spoke. He was a handsome, young prince dressed in a white tux, and I was wearing a beautiful ball gown. He came over to me and took my hand while leading me onto the marble dance floor. We began to dance. He was charming, and romantic, and funny. He joked with me as he led me effortlessly across the floor. He was perfect. I was in love…whoa, wait! What? Yes, I said it. In love. Breakthrough. At this moment, the Lord came to me not as my father, or The Ancient of Days, but just as I needed him right then, my Prince of Peace. I enjoyed his company. I desired his presence. He was romancing my heart. He is romancing my heart.

A Date with the King

He delights in me.
A voice, more tender than any other lover
Desiring intimacy
He who saw the beginning
He who spoke the beginning into beginning
Saw Satan fall like lightening
The inventor of wisdom
From whom all knowledge
And understanding flow
Holding cells and galaxies in place
By His Word
Surely He is content with Himself
Of this I am not ignorant
I am merely dust…
No. I am the image of God
His Spirit resides inside me
Praise God!
He is GOD.
YET He beckons me.
Why do you desire me?
More often than not, I don’t desire you.
You are slow to anger and
Rich in love
Rich. In. love
I am blind-folded
And led into hardship
Yet His hand is secure around
Mine
I know His voice.
Lord, I desire your love
Consume me.
Lead me into the desert
And speak tenderly to me
Woo me with deep passion
Stirring the deepest waters
Of my soul
Depths I have not opened to another
Depths I dare not venture into without
Guidance
You stir my heart
And I stir Yours!
My Darling
Place me as a seal on Your arm
You desire me to grow I faith,
So You whisper to me
In ways that stretch my comfort
Growing me into your Bride
I am still young
But You are patient
You are Patience
My soul rejoices
In You, my Lord.

Refine me like gold, oh Lord

Gold. The most coveted metal. What makes this substance of more value than the splendor of silver or beauty of precious jewels? The process. ALERT! BORING FACT TIME (provided to you by one who is less than an expert to make matters even less-interesting). In order to achieve 1 ounce of gold, one must first chisel out approximately 100,000 ounces of ore. Next, this ore must be hauled off to a mill where it is crushed into a fine powder. After this stage, the ore is mixed with a concoction of chemicals (of which I couldn’t even begin to pronounce the names) and is heated seven times by fire (reaching temperatures I cannot fathom). Each time the dross, or impurities, must be scraped off the top of the heated gold, until it has reached its purest form.
Scripture is dead on (of course) when it addresses the idea of our hearts being refined like gold, but I never quite grasped the parallel. After the fall of man, we acquired (wait, that’s such a pleasant word, shall I say were cursed with?) a sin nature. When fully developed (or even when newly birthed in a young child), this nasty disease, which affects all aspects of the body and soul, seems to overshadow and squelch the precious, original purpose for which we were first intended. Like the ore, our sin nature and iniquity must be crushed and humbled when we chose to take up our cross and follow our King. Then, like ore is heated seven times (funny how the process of refining embraces the number of completion…think that’s chance? I think not.) to remove impurities, we are given trials—heat, and circumstances, which cause our imperfections and all that is impure to rise to the surface. Yet, each time, as God removes the dross, or immorality from our heart and actions, we are in the process of being refined. Each time, we grow in wisdom and in oneness with the will of God. We are not purified by one trial or one heated experience. Purification takes time until the day when we will be presented to God, pure, whole, shining in beauty. Anyway, I’m just blown away at the patience of God. He is SO good. We must let him refine us. I still have a fair amount of dross. Praise the Lord he’s not finished with me yet.

Painting

Canvass of white
splashes of hue
coming to life
flourishes of a brush
swiftly dancing
artistic saplings
from the brain
are seeping creative juices
a growing pallette
of twirling tones
time is cheering the masterpiece
don't rush art
one last
touch,
it is complete