Eclipse 12/21/10

drenched in heartbeats of the dying sun—
the rest of the sky is suffocating
the cold is stiff this year
and last night the moon was blood
I ached for the sun to burn up and drizzle like ash—
for the stars to lose their grip and plunge from their mounts
just to know You’ve finally come back
my field's but a fifth plowed, I'd guess
so I wait
dig up
dig up
chip at the ground
frozen and hard--unyielding as death
to give up souls like potatoes
how has the soil been this hardened by sin?
Your Name falls flat on their stone faces
sometimes the harvest doesn’t seem ripe
when all we can feel is the cold
and they turn their backs as we speak
but we are not abandoned
I trust in Your promise
You give what we ask
I ask for souls
souls like potatoes
dug up like treasure
from this frozen ground
our hands are raw from effort
but Your truth is a spade
Your Spirit water
Your love warmth
Lord, we wait
We wait

6 miles nowhere

Peace brought to me on a gravel road
where the rind rolls, I know I'm home
my eyes--every thirsty for a glimpse of sky
my mind soothed with green
sun fingers in through my thick straw hat
and my Chacos carry me on
on through a day not strangled by time
walking from home to nowhere

Nicaragua summary

Thank you all who supported me in both prayer and with money for my trip to Managua, Nicaragua.
Bear with me; perhaps my experience was different than other members of my team, but I prefer to tell it as it was. ☺ I arrived frustrated. I was resentful of the fact that we were going to serve but were being served and receiving special treatment. I did not want to stay at a resort while Nicaraguans slept in shacks. I did not want to be labeled and treated with dignity because I am American. I suppose I felt that this trip would be about the Lord drawing me closer to Him through the little trials and situations we faced as a team. Thus, I did not go in expecting a life-changing experience. In fact, when the trip was over, the clearest revelation I sensed was that people are the same everywhere. It doesn't matter where I am as long as I’m where the Lord wants me. The safest and most blessed place to dwell is right where He is. Thus, I really did not feel any different being in Nicaragua than I felt being in the United States. I felt that this trip was just another small piece in the Lord’s magnificent plan. However, that is not to say that my experience was not rich. Let me share with you ☺
We arrived in Managua on a Sunday evening and were taken to the resort where our team stayed the rest of the week; our group stayed in Managua until Monday, but I left Thursday morning, as you may know, after receiving news that my Grandpa died while serving in Africa. Most of us slept in cabins except for the majority of our guys who preferred to "rough it" by sleeping in the hammocks set up in clusters throughout the camp. The weather averaged 95 degrees most days paired with humidity, which was a welcome change from the chilling Kansas weather. The bulk of our time was spent teaching English classes on the UCA college campus in Managua as we partnered with the Young Life ministry on campus. Each morning, we helped teach an English class. Following that first class, we either taught another class immediately after or went to "conversation club" where each one of us team members would lead a group of Nicaraguan students through probing conversation topics. Afterwards, we headed to lunch and then met up with two students who had been assigned to us as our English partners. These students took us on tours around their campus and city. We spent the evenings as a team debriefing, worshipping, and sharing; then we had free time before heading to bed.
Our second night in Nicaragua was an adventure! One of us girls forgot to shut the door, and we discovered that approximately 300 beetles (like a smaller version of our June bugs) had swarmed into our room. Beetles were everywhere--in our beds, on the ceiling, on the walls, on the floors, in the bathroom. We found this quite humorous and named all the beetles "Larry". Every so often we would flick "Larrys" out of our sheets or warn another girl if a "Larry" was crawling towards her. Our cabin was filled with laughter and memories that night.
Another evening, a team member and I got to talk to one of the Nicaraguan Young Life leaders. We had not realized just how inadequate our two or three years of Spanish classes had been! Communication was a delightful struggle. We conversed back and forth using our limited Spanish and deciphering his broken English. Despite the language barrier, we felt “in tune” with one another because of the Holy Spirit inside of us. Fire was in his eyes, and the powerful connection of the Holy Spirit in all of our hearts made up for the words we could not speak.
During conversation club, Tuesday, I got to share the gospel with a group of five or six girls. Wow, seeing the eyes of two of the girls in that group light up was thrilling! No feeling exists like connecting on the basis of Truth with another person. In contrast, my heart broke for my English partners as I looked at their faces and saw the brokenness in their eyes--no life, no hope. I was only able to talk to them about what I believed and their beliefs, briefly. I was sad to leave those precious girls. However, throughout the trip, the Lord was teaching me to take everything in stride. He gave me an abundance of grace. I did not feel overwhelmed even when I received the news that my grandpa had died. In fact, I felt even more joy, peace, and strength in my heart and thankfulness that He finally got to be with his Jesus.
All in all, I was so blessed to be able to have the experience of travelling overseas to be with believers from another country and help them bolster their campus ministry. I was blessed by the people I met and by my team. Thank you, again, to all who graciously gave and held us in your prayers.