weak

Desire eludes me
each path is tiring
each road the same direction--on
my soul is dormant
sick of the same
the adventure's gone

When You wake me, I'll come home
these wanderings are a memory; I know
just short of 18 years, this road
but it feels I've wandered long
been a stranger all this life, I know
been waiting to see Your face, so long

restore my hope
restore my song

"...do not throw away your confidence;
it will be richly rewarded.
You need to persevere
so that when you have done the will of God,
you will receive what he has promised."

Hebrews 10:35-36

on meditation--oh the deep waters of His love in our being

You welcome me into Your chambers
And my heart is stilled before You—
In awe of the fear of Your roaring love
A consuming fire in the quiet place
You fill me fresh with Your Holy Spirit
Topped off and overflowing
Like a glass of cool water on a summer day
How is it that you desire to know me?
I am so small
A grain of sand in the sea of Your great love
Carried by the current of Your grace
Renewed by the tides of Your faithfulness
You rain compassion on me
I am a plant thirsty in this drought
Soak me with Your light
I am hungry for You
Jesus
My dear, Jesus
You call me Your own
Take my heart
Take all I am
I am Yours

Be still

Do not lose heart
Though all is shaken

Quickly He has come
Bearing joy in His laughter
Strength in His eyes

There is grace for the brokenhearted
Security for those who call upon His name
For all who seek His face

We shall lie down in peace
For our Shepherd is ever watchful
He watches over us by night
He ministers to our hearts even in sleep

We do not fear uncertainty
Our God is sovereign

He stirs the waters with His fingers
His breath awakes the mighty winds

My King,
This is my request
And this is what I seek
That I may dwell in Your presence
And in your steadfast love

May I be counted worthy of bearing Your name
And devote my all to the work of Your hands

All glory, praise, and honor to the matchless name of Jesus
The Lamb who was slain

Never Once - Matt Redman

This seems to be the theme of Jordan's and my lives the past six months. The Lord is faithful.

“How can I get rid of these feelings?” by Nathaniel McVay

Oh, how can I get rid of these feeling? Of wars and fights without any healing. Oh, how the clock has stopped, in the middle of time. I’m the only one on this small industrial planet, but I still feel like I have a companion… in my mind. Oh how the winds of the world have changed from their original form, into this beast that changes kindness into hatred, Peace into war, and the sinless into the sinful. How can I get rid of these feelings? Of sins that can’t be stopped, of Places I can’t destroy, of minds that can’t be cleansed? Once again I ask, “How can I get rid of these feelings?”, Only time will tell.

Sabbath search

Vacant house
Face to the floor
"I am like a desert owl, like an owl among the ruins."1
Thirsty
I am weary for Your voice
Even in the morning,
my dreams unsettle my heart
"I lie awake; I have become like a bird alone on a roof."1
Answer me, O Lord,
my heart is open to Your instruction
I listen for Your whisper
amongst the desert winds
"But you, O Lord, sit enthroned forever...In the beginning you laid the foundations of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish but you remain..."1
And You say, "Remain in me, and I will remain in you."2
"...you remain the same."1


1 Psalms 102
2John 15:4

Eclipse 12/21/10

drenched in heartbeats of the dying sun—
the rest of the sky is suffocating
the cold is stiff this year
and last night the moon was blood
I ached for the sun to burn up and drizzle like ash—
for the stars to lose their grip and plunge from their mounts
just to know You’ve finally come back
my field's but a fifth plowed, I'd guess
so I wait
dig up
dig up
chip at the ground
frozen and hard--unyielding as death
to give up souls like potatoes
how has the soil been this hardened by sin?
Your Name falls flat on their stone faces
sometimes the harvest doesn’t seem ripe
when all we can feel is the cold
and they turn their backs as we speak
but we are not abandoned
I trust in Your promise
You give what we ask
I ask for souls
souls like potatoes
dug up like treasure
from this frozen ground
our hands are raw from effort
but Your truth is a spade
Your Spirit water
Your love warmth
Lord, we wait
We wait